[A small breath, it hitches in his throat and he smooths his thumb over the other man's skin. His eyes open though, he merely looks up. Through branches, through leaves still small...]
Two years. Not long at all. [Closing his eyes again.] Why is it the young always impress me the most? [A laugh.] Or perhaps, it's the wait that makes me long.
[No one ever accused him of being humble. But he's not arrogant either - just realistic. And he's aware of what he's made himself into... and what he has still to become.]
...although I don't spend much time on battlefields. Most of the time.
But I think it's just a question of perception. I've never considered myself especially compelling on my own. Only as one part of a larger unit.
[A small breath, pulling his hand away finally and moving to sit up. His neck stretches, looking up still, lids low. There's a chill in the air but he knows the shiver running down his spine is lingering results of his fight. Still- Lancer isn't who's on his mind right now.]
[Funny thing- he should be. But maybe the past is fading into the abyss far faster than usual? Or maybe anything past not concerning his current company just is out shined by what does. Thoughtful again, quiet, his hands back to sitting in his lap.]
Mmm- The Phantom Troupe. [A light laugh, closing his eyes. He raises a hand up, but just to smooth back his white hair, strands of it flopping back over his face soon after.] Known by that name, that group. But then that's what you want, to only be known by that, rather the spider's head, than Chrollo Lucilfer.
[True silence. His mind leans to think about it, his own words, saying such a thing, and then about Chrollo's question. Should Chrollo be gone, should he die- should Hisoka be who ends him, in this world- no, back home, where it was final. He supposes he would just move on, yes. Fight the legs of the spider as they clawed at the air without a head to direct them. He supposes he would.]
[But now.]
[Could he say the same?]
[He doesn't think about it- doesn't want to, as he said. So he stays facing away. Closing his eyes, and focuses on everything else around them. Sound, breeze, his own heart, slow and steady now in his chest. The slight prickle still in his skin. Chrollo's words echoing in his ears. His stomach tossing from the idea of it-
Him gone. A world without him. Why does it keep prying at him? He really feels like an idiot now, ah- and not for the reason Chrollo said it earlier.]
[He sighs a breath through his nose, a light laugh, his eyes closing before he leans back. Still sitting, but slumping up against Chrollo's front, leaned back over his lap till he can look up at him. His lips curl, offering an oddly genuine sort of smile.]
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[Always striving him to greater heights. Even though he barely fights, really, so what use is it all?
He turns his head to look at Hisoka.]
...actually. How old are you?
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[His age- haven't they spoken of this before? He closes his eyes.]
Twenty eight. [Honesty? Maybe.]
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[Assuming it's the truth.]
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[And he rests his hand over Hisoka's.]
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Two years. Not long at all. [Closing his eyes again.] Why is it the young always impress me the most? [A laugh.] Or perhaps, it's the wait that makes me long.
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[Not much does, actually. He's still confused by it.]
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How doesn't it? Your potential is limitless.
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[No one ever accused him of being humble. But he's not arrogant either - just realistic. And he's aware of what he's made himself into... and what he has still to become.]
...although I don't spend much time on battlefields. Most of the time.
But I think it's just a question of perception. I've never considered myself especially compelling on my own. Only as one part of a larger unit.
That's changed a bit, here. It needed to.
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[Funny thing- he should be. But maybe the past is fading into the abyss far faster than usual? Or maybe anything past not concerning his current company just is out shined by what does. Thoughtful again, quiet, his hands back to sitting in his lap.]
Mmm- The Phantom Troupe. [A light laugh, closing his eyes. He raises a hand up, but just to smooth back his white hair, strands of it flopping back over his face soon after.] Known by that name, that group. But then that's what you want, to only be known by that, rather the spider's head, than Chrollo Lucilfer.
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The latter is simply my name. The former is who and what I am.
That's why I prefer to be seen - and known - that way. Besides. Every last one of them is exceptional. Why focus on me?
...of course, I already know the answer. It's only that it... sits strangely in my mind.
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That you focused on me simply because I'm the strongest of them.
[It's not something he says regularly. It seems simultaneously excessive and unnecessary. But he can say it. To Hisoka, he can say it.]
In a world without me, perhaps you would have been following one of the others.
[Probably Feitan or Uvo.]
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I'd rather not think of it. ['A world without you'.]
[The words are there, in his mouth, but feel strange. He doesn't say it- or finish it rather.]
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You don't have to.
[Although, isn't that what Hisoka wanted to create?]
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[Another breath but then.]
[Just silence after that.]
[True silence. His mind leans to think about it, his own words, saying such a thing, and then about Chrollo's question. Should Chrollo be gone, should he die- should Hisoka be who ends him, in this world- no, back home, where it was final. He supposes he would just move on, yes. Fight the legs of the spider as they clawed at the air without a head to direct them. He supposes he would.]
[But now.]
[Could he say the same?]
[He doesn't think about it- doesn't want to, as he said. So he stays facing away. Closing his eyes, and focuses on everything else around them. Sound, breeze, his own heart, slow and steady now in his chest. The slight prickle still in his skin. Chrollo's words echoing in his ears. His stomach tossing from the idea of it-
Him gone. A world without him. Why does it keep prying at him? He really feels like an idiot now, ah- and not for the reason Chrollo said it earlier.]
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...Hisoka.
[What to say? He frowns.]
Well. As it stands, you have me for a while longer.
[In fact, Porter magic aside, it's up to Hisoka how long.]
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As long as you like.
[He could add the technicalities - Hisoka has until he claims his end of the deal, so of course it's as long as he likes. In theory. But...
...the thought seems complete where it is. So he leaves it there. Another casual confession that Hisoka is likely to misunderstand.]
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[Quiet for a bit longer before.]
Thank you.
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For the healing?
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Did you rush to my side?
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[No hesitation. No shame.]
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Good.
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Don't get yourself killed. That I can't fix.
[And even if it is temporary here... it still makes him feel... unsettled.]
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