[Truth be told, he blames himself more than anyone else. But if he says that... they'll only argue with him. He knows that even as he opens his mouth to object. Which is why he closes it again. A discussion for another time, maybe - when he's gathered his thoughts on it. So for the moment...

That's rather close to what I'm saying, yes.

And incidentally I never said he wouldn't kill me. As far as I know, that deal remains intact. But as death is impermanent, it's less concerning than it could be.